HELP!

What do you do if you secretly want to eat Coco Pops and when you get the bag out, they split and go everywhere? Like, everywhere? I'm screwed. I could just eat my way out. :S

Hilarious Frasier clip

If you're not a follower of Frasier, then Niles felt bad that he was never rebellious as a teenager, so he asked a friend to get him a pot brownie. Then she left it with Marty, Niles' dad, who ate it and then replaced it, not knowing it was full of reefer. Niles still assumed that he was stoned, while Marty was walking around in his boxer shorts eating pudding and chips. It's a must-see XD

Edward's just a paranoid, over-protective sparkle man

Just think about it. People are all saying "oh, Edward, I love him. I want a vampire boyfriend!"
Let's state why.
1. They're gorgeous.
2. They've been around for a while, so they'd know a thing or two.
3. They're gorgeous.
4. They're gorgeous.
Okay, so really, there's only two reasons. Think about what Edward is really like, minus the strength, hot body and sunlight-activated fairy sparkles. He's a... paranoid, over-protective not-so-sparkly man. He breaks Bella's car so she can't visit her friends, he makes her choose between him and her best friend, he refuses to change her so he can marvel this cute, vulnerable little girl-b*tch he's collected and deny her his body until she crumbles into a quivering pool of madness which he can stroke and tend for until it dies.
The only way that Steph Meyer can get away with this and still make Edward seem all fantastical, is by making Bella this dozy-eyed, mouth-breathing waste of space whose life revolves entirely around this FICTIONAL character.
Well, I hope that Crazy Edward and Sleepy Bella have a happy time in make-believe-shiny-world, while their presence in the books that their maker wrote will live on and plague the minds of the Noughties generation's girls. They want commitment from their beautiful, fake boyfriends and they are so strong that they will defend them from everything bad, from disease, to red-headed baddies and the Credit Crunch.
But the thing that makes me laugh is that in folklore is that original vampires 4000 years ago were female! Crazy undead women that come down to Earth, eat your babies, and have sex with your men! And now we find them sexy. Strange.

Geisha are very misunderstood people

Somehow the topic of geisha came up in conversation with my friend the other day and I said "oh, do you know that geisha are supposed to be an illusion of the perfect woman and they have to stay in this matriarchal society for six years and-"
"Yeah, I know, I've read a whole book on geishas, don't talk to me like I'm stupid."
"Actually, you just say geisha, not geishas. So I will talk to you like you're stupid. And what was the book?"
"Something like Memories of a Geisha or something."
I have this weird obsession with all things Japanese (I love the Itsu Japanese restaurant), so when I got home I Googled it, turns out it was Memoirs of a Geisha (so my friend is now a bit stupider) and I thought ooh, this will be interesting so I did some research. Turns out the person that the memoir was based on is trying to sue the writer for countless misinterpretations. After doing a bit of research on what geisha are actually like, the book made it seem like a form of prostitution rather than an amazingly respected profession which requires stamina, patience and a very large amount of skill.
I respect the geisha, and their eccentric yet traditional wax-based makeup.

I'm in the love section of the Russell Brand Marmite cultural clash

There's just something about him that makes me just want to... Hug him. I think he'd be quite a good cuddle buddy.
I was watching Russell Brand - Doing Life a few nights ago and I think he's hit the comical nail on the head. The hair, guyliner, blasphemy of a sailor and skinny jeans teamed with his perfect diction and firm grasp on grammar is just comedy gold. Not to mention that even though he is one of the best Marmite comedians on the planet, and he still has trouble fitting in. He talked about when he was filming Forgetting Sarah Marshall in Hawaii; he was sitting in a "skanky little caravan" by himself, and decided to make a football game by hanging a hoola-hoop by a piece of rope from the ceiling and seeing if he could kick a ball through it. Soon enough, he became oddly obsessed with it and started doing scores and making leagues, and he would wake up one morning feeling anxious and say "Oh, I've got to play Everton today... They've really upped their game since the quarter-finals!"
He then went on to describe his unorthodox encounter with Woody Olsen from Cheers!. Russell was playing his football game, just wearing a pair of green boxer shorts, when Woody just walks through the door without even knocking and just says, pointing at the hoola-hoop, "Hey dude. What's that?"
Russell said "Well, I've got to tell him, or he'll think the worst. There's a hoola-hoop hanging from the ceiling and I am very scantily-clad... He'll probably think I'm doing some sort of weird aerobic dancing wank-game... I've just got to tell him." He proceeded by explaining the game to Woody, who tried it for himself, and then, without saying goodbye, walked back out of the door and started climbing a tree.
Needless to say, I love Russell Brand. Though I hate Marmite.

I guess that's why Dalí did pictures of people eating each other

Dalí, one of the best known surrealists, famed for his remarkable mustache and overall flamboyance, was acutally very disturbed.This crazy Spanish artist and visionary of the 20th century wasn't always a total psycho. One of the contributing factors of his nuttiness was the uncanny behaviour of his parents.Three years before the surrealist was born, they had another child, also called Salvador. He lived a short life; he died at the age of two due to serious health problems, and as they grieved, they decided to have another child. As it was also a boy, the named the new baby Salvador too. They frequently talked about the old Salvador like he was still there, and took their new child to the toddler's grave. As you can imagine, being a young child and seeing a gravestone with your own name on it was deeply distressing.Then, at the age of 12, Salvador was sent to boarding school, where he was frequently beaten and scolded for his different way of thinking.Needless to say, I think that's why he became one of the most f****ed up geniuses that the world has ever seen.